“Whatdya want?” is the reply I always get when I call my youngest sister’s name. She says it so tersely that I make sure I have an answer even if I called out her name in jest. I heard “Whatdya want?” even more loudly–albeit with my spiritual ears–when I watched a great Denzel movie, Roman J. Israel Esq., and its eponymous character passionately expressed that a person’s greatest fear is looking in the mirror and asking themselves what do they really want. I meditated pon dat and challenged myself to answer that question. Then I posed it to a couple of other people who said, “Hmmm” just as long as I did. After a good, long, pregnant pause, I decided that the mirror of true aspiration would become my bedfellow. Although I am one to always go after what I want no matter what, there is always another level of getting that may ask for more than before. And that can be scary.
Why the fear? After all, the concept seems simple enough, right? However, the reality is people are often afraid to go after what they really want because the price is too high. Rejection, disappointment, the passing of time, things being harder than one thought, etc., are the stuff of the troll under the bridge, and sometimes there is not enough gold in the land to pay that giant goober off. Ignoring the Peanut Gallery is expensive for
some, being status no instead of status quo is pricey, and maybe disappointing family who expected a person to remain in the six-figure job versus leaving it all behind to backpack through life may surely come with no discount.
Probably the most blinged out item on the list is change. To want what one has never had means to do what one has never done. It means getting on the grind without apology or explanation, and having a laser-like focus that may make life a little stiff, sacrificial, and supremely utilitarian for a season. It means to acknowledge the deep restlessness inside has nothing to do with wanting to impress, over-compensate, or make up for a childhood filled with a whole lot of criticism, but rather to fulfill one’s true calling.
I’m here to share that at the end of all of that is the pay off of fulfillment and fearlessness that is absolutely empowering. In Christ, that is a guarantee. Where God guides He provides, and if He points in a certain direction, He should have the privilege of knowing someone is going to pack and ride. There should be no genuine concern over not being good enough, strong enough, brave enough, or even perfect enough. He knows what He’s getting into every time.
So the next time life asks, “Whatdya want?” don’t let it waste its words. Have a ready answer and prepare, by any means necessary, to march to the beat of your own drummer. And when you do, that’s when you really get to dance.
Count it off…1-2-3-4! *fiyah horn section*